Ghosts are fucking scary, man.  If there was a ghost in my house I would just cry.  I would literally sit up against the corner of a room, so the ghost bastard prick piece of shit can’t creep up behind me, and I’d cry until I become dehydrated from a loss of fluids and then I’d cry some more.  Either that or I’d torch the place and collect the insurance.  I aint about to tolerate no fucking ghost taking up real estate in my crib.

What amazes me about these Paranormal Activity movies is that they don’t seem to get as scared as normal people would.  The male character in every one of these movies is always the one filming and getting his rocks off at the sight of any activity.  If I saw one thing move just one night I’d be at the holiday inn before I could say “Fuck this!”. These people must have balls the size of grapefruits because they stick around through some pretty twisted shit.

Paranormal Activity 3 throws in a new element, little girls communicating and interacting with a freakin demon ghost.  Something about a little girl talking to a poltergeist doesn’t sit too well with me.  That being said I didn’t find this one to be as horrifying as the previous two and, dare I say it, the whole thing is becoming old hat.  Yes, of course, they throw in some new elements to change it up a bit but ultimately you’re getting the same thing with a different house and some new related characters.

I have to say though, there were some pretty awesome moments in Paranormal Activity 3 that still stick with me.  Most of these involve some satantic cultist shit that I’m not gonna get into now because I don’t wanna spoil it for anyone.  This film gives you a good perspective as to why this family has been plagued with this shit for years though.

If you liked the other two Paranormal Activity films, enjoy watching little girls shit their pants in fear or have a sick obsession with the occult then this film’s for you.  This one isn’t as good as the other two and, if you’ve seen the others, there’s a good amount of “been there, done that” but it’s still worth checking out.  After you watch it, go straight home, go to the bathroom, look into the mirror and say “Bloody Mary” three times with the lights off.  K bye.

I never really know what the end result of a full Only Ones collection will be. Sometimes I have all these plans and ideas and they change and morph into something totally different and better than I first planned. I’m a fan of Only Ones just as much or more than anybody that buys our shirts. I think that’s the way it has to be. If I’m not excited every single time I open a box and see our finished product then how could anyone else be?

The best part about releasing these shirts is seeing peoples reactions. Whether a shirt makes someone laugh, get angry, question a belief, or just say “Whoa, that is really cool.”, it makes no difference to me. I just like to see how people take it.

I say it with every release but this collection is hands down our best to date. Head over to the shop section and take a look at our new stuff. I hope you enjoy it because I really enjoyed working on it.

Only Ones from Only Ones on Vimeo.

We went to the New York Comic-Con and well…HOVER HANDS!

Jeez, my hands are tired.  I need to rest them on something!

The first prostitute I saw on display in Amsterdam’s red light district kinda scared me.  I didn’t expect it.  It reminded me of those scenes in horror movies where there’s a vampire or something standing deep in the corner of the room.  The scariest part is that they’re standing completely still and staring at you and all the while you don’t even realize.  When you finally discover them the hairs on the back of your neck stand straight up.  Or maybe it’s just the fact that a human being is on display for sale.  Something about it just shocked me.

I think the first girl I saw scared me because I remember she was standing straight up like a statue and peering out from behind the window.  I don’t think she even blinked once when I passed her by.

The girls are on display behind doors with full length windows illuminated by red light.  Different sex workers have different approaches to getting their clients.  Some girls have their asses in the air while others stick their tongue out and point at you.  Some knock on the glass in front of them and others are on the phone with what I would like to imagine as their boyfriends or parents.  Some of them are in a room together just talking to each other.

I would say all of this is weird but I’ve learned that “weird” is subjective.  ”Weird” is something taught and cultivated, in some ways “weird” doesn’t even exist.  Ain’t that kinda weird?

I wanted to talk to one of these girls.  I wanted to hear her story and learn about what it’s like from her end.  Jonathan and I decided to pool our money together and get a prostitute to interview.  I asked one of the sex workers if she would allow us to pay her for a ten minute interview.  She seemed confused by the request but ultimately agreed.  We followed her up a long flight of stairs and into a bedroom lit by red light.  She sat on the bed, told us to take a seat and we started to talk.

Rob: Are you originally from Amsterdam?

XXX: No, my mother is from Slovenia and my Father is from Romania.  I am mixed.  I lived 7 years in Kranj (fourth largest city in Slovenia) and after I went to Romania.  There I went to school and I had my life there.

Rob: I’m assuming the main reason for you coming here is to make money and this obviously pays more money then working at one of the local restaurants or bars in the red-light district.

XXX: Yes.  Of course.

Rob: Do you have a boyfriend?

XXX:  Yes

Rob: How does he feel about you working here?  Does he mind it?

XXX: A little but it’s money and we are trying to manage our money.  And when I go outside I don’t remember what happened here.  I am normal when I go out.  I see nobody who came here.  Here, I go out and I don’t remember anything.  I go out and I don’t remember the client, I don’t remember the name.  Really, I forget what happened.

Rob: Do you live close to the Red Light District?

XXX: No, it’s in amsterdam but it is like 20 minutes with the car.

Rob: Do you plan on staying here for a while?

XXX: No.  I stay here for maybe one or two months and then I go home and I come back.  It’s like this all the time, back and fourth.  I always will go back home, I have my life there, my family and my friends.  Here it’s just work.

Rob: How long have you been working here?

XXX: About one year.

Rob:  How do you feel about the job?

XXX: No, I don’t like it.  Yes, I am a prostitute, I know but it means just money.  A lot of money and that’s it.

Rob:  Obviously here in Amsterdam prostitution is legal and also regulated.  How often are you tested while working?

XXX:  Normally every three months.  But I am so careful.  Always with a condom and no kissing.

Rob:  On average how many clients do you have in one night?

XXX: Tonight I had 11 so far.  It depends on the night.  Sometimes, 30, 20 or 50 clients.  It’s never the same.

Rob:  Walking around here I see some girls that are in the window and on the phone.  I just can’t help but imagine they are on the phone with their boyfriend or a parent.  I guess it makes me realize how it’s just a job like any other and it’s really where I come from that attaches a stigma to it.

XXX:  For some it is very strange and for others it is very normal.  It’s normal for Amsterdam.  When I go into a shop here and somebody sees me, and they know I am a prostitute, they don’t look at me differently.  Yea, I am a prostitute but it’s just a job.  It is not my life, you understand?  Here in Holland, everything is normal.  Nobody looks at me bad and when I go out I am not prostitute.  I am normal.

Rob:  It’s just a job.

XXX:  Yes.  Here I smile, I am a prostitute but outside I am another.  But not all the girls are the same.  Many girls have a pimp and have problems with him and outside is not the same.  For me, it’s different.

Our time was up, I thanked her for talking with me and we walked back downstairs to the street.  I continued to walk the red light district with my friends.  We passed by sex workers, people smoking pot and others on shrooms, and it’s all legal.  I was thinking about how different the culture is compared to the U.S. but then I realized our cultures aren’t so different after all.  Our people do the same things back home but it’s different because it’s not legal and we’ve got to hide it.

If there’s one thing I felt in Amsterdam it was freedom.  How ironic to be 3,600 miles from America, “The Land of the Free”, and feel a sense of freedom I’ve never felt before.  I heard “California Dreaming” playing loud from inside one of the bars as I passed by.  Considering all the thoughts going through my head, I found that kind of funny.

Space travel, man!  Now that some crazy shit. I’ve thought about space travel a lot in my time, especially traveling to the moon. Some people think we never really got there but, if we did, it is the most amazing thing to me. Imagine standing on the moon and looking back at this big blue ball that is your home. To be standing on the thing you used to stare up at every night, imagine that. Now imagine as you’re standing on it some spider-like creatures are trying to eat your face off. This is the basic premise of Apollo 18.

I bet you thought there was only 17 Apollo missions, didn’t you? Well I’m sorry but you thought wrong and that makes you a fuckin idiot asshole. There was actually an 18th Apollo mission, ya big dummy! Luckily for us, there this shitty fake-documentary-ish fuck of a film to “prove” it. Whoopty fucking doo! I guess now I’ll tell you all the reasons as to why I think this film sucks Rasputin’s pickled cock.

You know what really grinds my gears about some films? I hate when there’s a lot of build up with little to no pay off. I call these “blue balls” movies.  Unfortunately, Apollo 18 is most definitely a prime example of this.

The whole time the film is building this atmosphere that’s both eerie and suspenseful. There’s a lot of shots where you think something in the background is going to happen but it often doesn’t. The film teases the ever loving shit out of you and makes you stay involved as a viewer hoping that all the build up will pay off.  It ultimately doesn’t and the end of the film is pretty predictable.

If I was making this film I would have had the humans land on the moon and get captured by the moon creatures. There would be a slight struggle in which one of the humans would utter “Get your hands off me you damn moon creature!” Then the moon creatures would take the humans to their master, Bob the Almighty King of The Moon Creatures. He would give the humans but two choices and two choices only.  In fact, the moon creatures only ever give two choices when giving out choices and they are always an offer one cannot refuse.  The humans could either return to earth without their testicles or keep their testicles but return to earth with some moon creature eggs that will ultimately hatch initiating the moon creatures take over of planet earth. We all know how selfish humans are and out of all humans it may in fact be the Americans who are the most selfish of all. It would be clear what decision they would make. So they land on planet earth with all testicles accounted for and with about 175,000 spider-like moon creature eggs in the cargo bay. The eggs hatch and the proverbial shit hits the mutha fuckin fan! The epic battle that would ensue would be an orgasmic firefight that would make any action film fan cream his pants and cry out in sheer joy!

Instead, we have this slow building film that builds up to nothing that’s worth the wait.  It’s not very scary either. After the movie I was walking to my car and I realized I lost my keys, this inconvenience was scarier than the whole film.